steal my sunshine

It's not raining.

In fact, it's sunny. Even the most pessimistic of the ten-day forecasts doesn't mention the merest hint of precipitation. Oddly, my blog about preparedness was just hours before another massive flood in the UK, forcing thousands of people from their home and causing numerous variations on the joke that Stratford should now be referred to as IN Avon. And the deliciously ironic image of a swan gliding past the pub sign for The Swan.

Apparently this has been the wettest summer on record. This is the UK-we're talking CENTURIES here. And Europe is suffering a massive heatwave, causing hundreds of deaths and massive forest fires. It may not be global warming, but I don't think Mother Nature is overly impressed with us at the moment- I think this demonstrates the lack of balance in our relationship with the natural world very clearly.

I did thoroughly enjoy another news item this week about patio-heaters, the latest greenwash issue with retailers promising to stop stocking them. This is despite the increased demand from pubs now that smokers are banished outdoors (and on that point I quote Balki Bartokomous in saying "and now we are so happy, we do the dance of joy"). The one country-pub owner interviewed suggested that the people arguing against their use did without the airconditioning they happily use daily before being critical about the occasional use of patio heaters.


Had a conversation in the dark depths of winter with a relative from bright,breezy Cape Town who didn't understand why we kept talking about the darkness and dampness of the British climate.

Simple. Rubbish weather and darkness sucks. Particularly AFTER Christmas when you have nothing to look forward to, just the promise of weeks more dark days and rain. The national psyche is very much informed by the weather. I found myself responding to the fabulous forecast this morning- ironed a skirt, put in my contact lenses and applied make-up before leaving the house. I certainly wasn't alone in responding- there was gloss everywhere today, accompanied by a smattering of heels and a smidgen of decolletage. Office workers emerged at lunchtime blinking, mole-like, at the brightness, swarming local restaurants and scooping up sandwiches to enjoy in the park.

So it's going to be lovely for days on end.

What am I going to moan about now?

Be Prepared

"Let's get ready Sydney" is a campaign to have the residents of the Australian city ready to evacuate their homes or places of work in case of an emergency. Most news reports are slightly cynical (possibly because the Lord Mayor revels in the moniker Clover Moore), quoting the suggestion that you evacuate your cat in a cotton pillowcase. Having met some cats in my time, I suppose this is because they won't tolerate synthetics next to their fur. I am impressed that Sydney has had the forethought to arrange safe sites in the city.

I admit to a morbid fascination with major disasters and contingency planning. I watch disaster movies about volcanoes and asteroids, check the US FEMA website , I know the CDC have traditionally been headquartered in Atlanta and love the word 'vector' in relation to viruses (though not in relation to school science- trying to work out stupid things like where the guy in his boat will end up when trying to cross the river depending on the current-FIND A BRIDGE, mate, you'll only have to walk on the other side anyway-I could've passed science if it involved common sense)

Having cheerfully given up some of my flextime to attend a lunchtime lecture on coping with pandemics, I arranged for the people in my department to get emergency contact cards to store in their purses and wallets. Also felt extremely smug in a recent powercut caused by workmen in our road (after 9pm, a shock in itself!) by being able to grab my keyring featuring a small, bright LED torch (and a 1gb usb memorystick, y'know, just in case) to get to the candles and matches drawer which also contains tinfoil used to reflect additional light and prevent spillages of wax onto surfaces. My habit of carrying a giant bag containing...well, everything in the universe, also paid off when I arrived at work on a dress-down day only to be advised I was needed to attend a meeting offsite. Ten minutes later I was ready to go: hair serumed and kirby-gripped into submission; face made up with mascara, eyeshadow and powder; perfumed and accessorised with ring and necklace to upgrade my look a little!

The idea of getting a Go-Bag ready is eminently sensible, a smaller scale version of the BOB (bug-out bag) which should contain the essentials to get you through 3 days of an emergency- terrorist attack, natural disaster or what have you-so I recommend a look at the links. A little preparation can go a long way. If you can't even trust a huge company like Cadbury's to protect public health, then who knows what the efforts of people who DON'T like the public and AREN'T trying to make a profit of us might achieve.

Oh, and you can still donate a pint to John Smeaton, the Glasgow Airport baggage handler who nutted the nutters trying to set the airport on fire. Nice symmetry, that, the man nipping out for a crafty fag. Not CLEVER terrorists to annoy the average Glaswegian...as his site says "Those hapless al-Qaeda boys were to find out that Glasgow has no respect for international terrorism. Nobody gets between 10,000 Weegies and a £99 week in Ibiza booked on Thursday night through Barrhead Travel.
And most of all, no-one messes with The Polis. Not in this town."

random wafflings

Studying for one of the exams for my professional qualifications next week, so clearly I have been spending a lot of time online :) I've only recently started using Youtube regularly, and it's been entertaining.

As a user of Sky Plus (and it's a big cuddle from me for the inventors!), it's quite hard for marketers to reach me via tv ads as I rarely watch live tv. If I do, it's usually on the BBC so no ads during the shows, and I'll generally pause and do something else and fast forward through ads if I am watching live things anyway. The Series Link button rocks my world-I love recording the whole series of a show at the click of the green button!

There have, however, been a few ads lately that have been able to get my attention. The Skoda Fabia advert with the tagline of 'full of lovely stuff' cheers me greatly by featuring the Sound of Music of the soundtrack, and hundreds of kilos of cake to make a model of the car itself. Irn Bru have caused great consternation and fanned an emo v goth war with their Goth Holiday ad. Mum comes in to give the 4 miserable black-clad youngsters some Irn Bru, prompting them to dash off to Blackpool in their hearse for a rollercoaster romp and a swim. Oddly engaging. The Sony Bravia ad where they went paintmad in a dodgy Glaswegian estate was gorgeous, with a glorious spoof interview from a distressed resident. My current fave is the campaign 'It's in our hands' from the learning and skills council where painted hands create every image of the ad. Sadly I can't find it on Youtube and the site itself is shockingly low on images from the ads, since it's their biggest marketing effort ever.

There is, as ever, some truly awful marketing around. I've joined the Ridiculous Marketing Nonsense group on Flickr to which I am tempted to post a screenprint of a recent email ad sent to me by Baileys (the drink, one of the Diageo brands). Considering the recent flooding, resulting in a number of deaths and thousands of people losing everything they owned and being forced from their homes, I was rather surprised to get a cheery mail from them suggesting Baileys was a great drink for the long, hot summer forecast, quoting Science Daily saying "UK Summer shaping up to be a scorcher" and the Telegraph saying "the Hottest year since 1659".

I wrote to them, enquiring in the politest possible terms what the hell they thought they were doing and suggesting their marketing team have a paycut since they could clearly afford FAR too many drugs. Their rather sheepish reaction?

Dear ..., We apologise for the distress that this email has caused you. The email was designed when the forecast for this summer looked like it would be the hottest on record. Subsequently, in view of the poor weather we have all been experiencing, we decided to change the email. Unfortunately due to a processing error an old version of the email was sent out instead. We understand that this email was inappropriate and in light of recent events, in very poor taste therefore we would like to apologise unreservedly for any offence caused and will ensure that this error is not repeated.Kindest regards,The Baileys Team

I suggest they ship a load of Baileys to the people in need of some gesture of kindness at this horrible time.

happy birthday to me

Managed to turn 31 without having a major wobbly today, due in no little part to barely leaving the house. Did get a bit distressed yesterday since I discovered upon attempted check-in that I had booked my father into the wrong branch of the hotel,necessitating a 2-junction trip and slingshot return taking 18 minutes on the M27 instead of the 3 minute stroll back home. And this was AFTER waiting an hour in the queue to get into the tethered hot air balloon in Bournemouth, rather exceeding the quoted wait time of 25 minutes. It should have been a good indicator- only 10 people were being allowed up per 'flight' due to the wind. I thoroughly enjoyed my previous trip, wandering around and taking pics. Photos for this time? I don't think so. Held on for dear life while it swayed from side to side. And my father doesn't really do heights at the best of times. Dear, sweet terra firma, I shall not leave you again.

Got fab presents from my family today as well as lots of calls and texts which made me happy. Dearly Beloved got me little treats to make up for the fact that a major portion of my gift has yet to be delivered. I'm particularly delighted with my light-up, colour changing umbrella and some serious chocolate. Supplies of my favourite garlic and herb seasoning and vanilla lipbalm from home have made me look forward to my trip in September.

Shopping tomorrow to choose a present from my father- nothing quite like a high-pressure purchase following a detailed list of suggestions *sigh*
It's not like my Amazon wishlist is a secret or anything...